Why the 12-Step Program Isn’t the Right Fit for Eating Disorder Recovery

The 12-step approach has helped millions find community, structure, and hope. For people recovering from addiction, it can be life-changing. Some eating disorder support groups have adopted that model — and I genuinely understand why. Free peer support, shared experience, and accountability can feel like a lifeline.

But when it comes to eating disorder recovery specifically, the traditional 12-step philosophy doesn’t align with what the science — or lived experience — tells us about these illnesses. Good intentions aside, the model can unintentionally work against healing.

Here’s why.

1. Eating disorders are not addictions

Eating disorders are classified as mental health disorders, not substance addictions. While there are behavioral overlaps — secrecy, compulsivity, withdrawal — the root cause is a complex interaction of biology, psychology, and environment.

There is no scientific consensus that food itself is addictive, nor that an eating disorder is caused by “addiction” to certain foods. Treating ED behaviors as addiction behaviors risks missing the real drivers: trauma, anxiety, perfectionism, emotional dysregulation, identity issues, and more.

When the core problem is misunderstood, the solution often is, too.

2. “Admitting powerlessness” undermines recovery

The first step in the 12-step model is declaring powerlessness over the problem. But for eating disorders, empowerment is a central part of recovery.

You don’t recover by surrendering control — someone with an eating disorder is already taken over by their condition. Telling them they are powerless reinforces the disorder’s narrative. What actually builds change? Learning that you do have the ability to make choices aligned with health, even when the disorder screams otherwise.

Recovery is the process of strengthening the healthy part of yourself — not handing it off to something outside of you.

3. Requiring a higher power can shift credit away from the individual

Spirituality can be deeply supportive for some. But making belief in a higher power a requirement introduces a risky dynamic:

If recovery is attributed to an external force…

 …what happens if someone stops feeling “worthy” of that force?

 …or their beliefs change?

 …or life gets harder?

The foundation of recovery needs to be self-efficacy:

 “I did this. I can keep doing this.”

Your progress should belong to you — not a deity, not a program.

4.“Character defects” increase shame — instead of healing it

Eating disorders thrive on shame. Many people with EDs already believe they are flawed, weak, unworthy or “bad.” Listing “character defects,” confessing them publicly, and asking for them to be removed can amplify that shame — especially early in recovery.

Vulnerability is healing only when:

• it happens at your own pace

• in a safe environment

• with people you trust

Growth comes from self-compassion, not self-condemnation or coerced vulnerability.

5. Abstinence isn’t possible — or helpful — with food

Abstinence is a workable strategy for alcohol or drugs. With food? Impossible.

Avoiding “trigger” foods doesn’t eliminate fear — it reinforces it. Restriction makes those foods more powerful in the mind, increasing the likelihood of binges, guilt, and renewed restriction. It’s a cycle most sufferers know too well.

Safe, sustainable recovery requires increasing flexibility, not shrinking it.

6. Labels can fuse the disorder to your identity

Calling yourself “an anorexic” or “a binge eater” makes the illness part of your identity. That fusion is one of the biggest barriers to recovery.

You are not your disorder.

 You are a person who is healing from a disorder.

This isnít just playing semantics. Language matters. It shapes what we believe is possible.

7. All-or-nothing thinking keeps people stuck

12-step doctrine frames recovery as success or failure, abstinent or relapsed. But eating disorder recovery is not linear. Slips are not proof that recovery is impossible — they’re proof that you are human, recovery is happening, because you’re trying to live differently.

If every lapse equals failure, the shame will push people right back into the disorder.

Progress is measured in direction, not perfection.

8. Full recovery is possible

12-step language says you remain “in recovery” forever. For eating disorders, that message can feel hopeless — like the disorder will always lurk under the surface.

But eating disorders are not lifelong by definition. People do recover fully. Many never return to the disorder or its mindset.

Your beliefs shape your reality. If you believe you are doomed to struggle forever, you are more likely to. This belief will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Hope isn’t naïve — it’s necessary.

So what does help?

A treatment approach built specifically for eating disorders — and backed by evidence:

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy-E (CBT-E)

• Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

• Family-Based Treatment (FBT)

• Trauma-informed therapy

• ED Recovery Coaching

• Nutritional rehabilitation with professional support

• Peer support that promotes agency, not surrender

The most helpful communities are those that empower you, help you challenge the disorder’s voice, and support your autonomy.

The bottom line

If a 12-step group has been helpful for you, that is valid. Keep what supports you.

But eating disorders are not addictions — and forcing them into a framework designed for a different illness often adds new obstacles instead of removing the existing ones.

Recovery doesn’t require surrender.

 It requires courage, support, flexibility, and self-belief.

 It requires seeing yourself as someone capable of change, not powerless to it.

You are not broken. You are not defective. And you are not doomed. You can recover — fully.