Letting Go of the Numbers Game: Steps I Took to Stop Counting Calories

• Calorie counting was one of the hardest habits for me to let go of in recovery. It had become second nature, almost like constant background noise or intrusive thoughts that were always present in my head. Even when I didn’t want to think about it, the numbers would automatically pop up, and it felt impossible to imagine eating without calculating. When I walked into a grocery store, I didn’t see products on the shelves—I saw numbers. Over time, though, I realized that if I wanted to be free of this behavior, I had to take intentional steps to make calorie counting fade. Below is a list of the things I did to help myself move away from it.
  

• I started incorporating previously blacklisted foods and condiments into my diet, and since I wasn't "allowed" to eat them prior, I wasn't aware of their calorie content.

• I kept snacking throughout the day and increased the portion size of my meals, so it became more challenging for me to track the calories I consumed. I even bought new plates, bowls, mugs, etc., so it would be harder to stick to my usual portion sizes.

• I stopped reading labels (you can use a black marker on food labels to blur out the calorie content) and stopped purchasing the low-fat/sugar-free versions of products.

• I started eating at restaurants, but I only went to places that didn't have the calorie content of their dishes on the menu.

• I got rid of the apps on my phone that tracked the number of steps I took/calories burned in a day, and I got rid of my Fitbit.

• I started doing new forms of exercise, and I made a conscious effort not to research how many calories I would burn with them.

• I stopped running altogether since I found it triggering and relapse-inducing.

• I learned how to listen to my hunger and fullness cues and decided that if I were not in the mood to exercise, I wouldn't do it. Or, if I forced myself to do it, I would stop if exercising didn’t feel good.

• I made an effort to become aware when I was doing all these calculations and forced myself to think about something else.

• Finally, something that helped me was learning that calorie content displayed on food items is only an estimate and can be 5–20% inaccurate. Realizing this made calorie tracking feel pointless—because the numbers aren’t even precise in the first place.
  

This is, again, a neuroplasticity thing. If you have been obsessing about calories for a long time, those thoughts become interlinked and automatic. What you can do is disrupt that automatic thought chain and replace the links with something else.

You are not responsible for the first thought that pops into your head, but you are responsible for the second and subsequent thoughts. That applies here as well. You can’t control when you start obsessing over calories, but you can catch yourself doing it and distract yourself from continuing.